Communication Break-Down

Whether or not you participate in the upcoming holiday season, the end of the year impacts our entire culture. For many, it is a time of joy and fun. Yet, it also brings some added STRESS. At the mall last week I was struck by the number of people I heard say, “I’m soooo tired!” Businesses must meet the demands of increased sales, traffic, and communication as year-end deadlines loom. Everything gets kicked up a notch during the last month of the year, and that pressure can spill over into our relationships.

At Nonverbal Solutions, we strive to improve business and personal relationships by making communication safe. When defending ourselves, we can’t think creatively and process logically. In essence, we can’t hear and we can’t speak. Our nonverbal communication strategies—such as systematic use of eye contact, employing appropriate voice patterns, or effective handling of location—increase clarity, depersonalize conflict, and reduce tension.

Many of these techniques, however, come down to the ability to breathe.

Another sales associate just called in sick? Breathe. Your website just went down? Breathe. Your wife is upset over the number of hours you’re working? Breathe.

You’ll think better.

You’ll feel better.

You’ll communicate better.

Ever feel like your “work” consists of attending meetings?

It can take so much time to discuss what we want to do, what we will do, and what we did, that little time remains in the work day for actual doing. It reminds me of this “demotivational” poster:

We need meetings. Yet how do you communicate that time is a precious commodity and not to be wasted? How can you stay on track?

Many meeting facilitators prepare an Agenda beforehand. Great!! Now use it systematically and purposefully to direct meetings.

• Be specific. List exactly what needs to be discussed and how many minutes are allocated to each item.
• Be consistent. Appoint a Schedule Czar to give warnings when time is running out—if the matter clearly needs more attention and discussion, schedule a separate meeting.
• Keep it visible. If your Agenda is the first slide of your Power Point presentation which shows up once and is never seen again, it can’t help you. Get it off to the side—on a white board, a separate screen, a flip chart, etc. Its presence provides a constant, silent reminder of the tasks and topics at hand.  
• Refer to it. Turn and look at the Agenda as you transition between topics. Communicate that it guides the discussion.   
• Let the Agenda be the bad guy. Any time the meeting begins to derail, instead of verbally trying to steer the conversation back, let the Agenda do it nonverbally. Just as the Agenda confirms what will be covered, allow it to settle what won’t be covered. When a satellite topic arises, turn and look at the Agenda. If necessary, you can say, “That’s not on the Agenda for today.” Breathe. Wait. Once you sense that the topic has been dropped (participants will begin breathing again), get back to business.

 Just think of how many more meetings you’ll be able to schedule with all the time you’ll save!!

(Photo courtesy of www.despair.com. Thanks!)

I hated the name Sari growing up.

You can probably guess why.

When I was 13 and oh so wise, I added an “h” and called myself Shari. Except that created a new problem because now everyone called me Sherry. So in my 30’s, after a lot of upheaval both professionally and personally,  I went back to Sari. “Shari” no longer fit.

And neither does Nonverbal Solutions.

As you may or may not know, we’ve been going through a rebrand process around here the past several months. We’ve delved into who we are, and what we do, and although it’s been difficult at times, it’s been an exciting process. We’ve never been more clear about what this company is about. And as our new identity started to emerge it became more and more clear that Nonverbal Solutions wasn’t quite….right.

For one, the word “solutions” immediately connotes that we deal with “problems.” Which we do, of course. A large part of our work helps individuals deal with communication problems, and we’ll continue to do that. But what we’ve found is that most of our clients are looking for more than problem solving. They’re looking for more connection, greater opportunity, more authenticity. And “solutions” just doesn’t begin to cover that.

Not to mention that my most beloved former assistant Val, when we sat down to talk about this recently said that “solutions” sounded like….cleaning products.

Names are hard, though. Just ask my friends who are expecting their first child in March. Everyone has an opinion. And we’re sure you’ll have an opinion about our new name. No name is perfect, nor can it communicate everything you want it to. But we’re excited about our new name and hope you like it.

So what is it? Well, just like my friends are waiting until the baby is born to unveil their name, we’re waiting until our new website/brand is “born” in January to reveal it.

Stay tuned.