Even if you don’t sign, you know that location holds memory. One morning, over a decade ago, I reached into the back of my lower kitchen cupboard and pulled out a pie pan, only to discover an ENORMOUS spider running around inside of it. (It was “THIS BIG.”) Even now, after years and years of spider-free pie pan fetching, I anxiously hold my breath every time I get it, remembering that once it contained a terrifying arachnid.

Effectively using location helps us communicate more clearly and consistently. Nonverbally, we can help people remember what we want them to remember and help them compartmentalize (forget) negative news or interactions.

For example, last week as I rehearsed parts of the Nonverbal Classroom Management workshop for Sari, she would sometimes call out, “You’re telling a story! Move to your story spot!” By delivering content in a different physical location from where I gave illustrations, participants knew to tune-in to the subject matter when I stood in the “teaching” spot and to access the right side of their brains when I moved to the “story” spot. They were able to switch mental gears and remember more when I was systematic in my use of location.

We can do this on a daily basis in our offices, courtrooms, classrooms, or wherever we are. To make a strong point, detach negative information from productive work space, change subjects, or “mark off” any part of our message, we can move or shift location to create a separation.

The pie pan in the back of my lower cupboard will forever be associated in my mind with that giant spider. If I can find a place in an upper cupboard to store the dish, I will likely forget the whole incident.

Off to rearrange my kitchen cupboards…

This is a terrible idea.

Not because teachers don’t deserve the cash. No, rewarding educators with cash bonuses assumes that they get into teaching for the money.

I’ll pause to allow my teacher friends a good long laugh.

…

It’s pretty insulting, in my opinion, to even think cash bonuses would work. It assumes teachers are lazy and unmotivated and would only do better if someone waved some cash in front of their noses. I’ve worked with thousands of educators for over a decade, and I’ve never met a single teacher who got into teaching because it was an easy gig that paid well. Most teachers are underpaid and overworked, and yet they continue to go in, day after day, and give their best.

Do bad teachers exist? Absolutely. But they need to be removed, not enticed with monetary gain. Teaching is a craft, something that can be honed and improved. But at its heart, teaching is a calling. If you don’t care to be there, no amount of money is going to fix that.

Teachers need support. Support from their communities, support from parents, and support from their schools. Most teachers leave the profession within the first three years, and it isn’t due to compensation.

If we want to improve education -note I did not say “test scores”- then we must look for ways to support our teachers. Throwing money at the problem won’t solve anything.

It’s difficult enough to be a teacher these days, but to be thrown into a classroom that isn’t yours -usually a different one day in and day out- that’s a tough assignment.

There are four nonverbal skills every substitute teacher must possess.

Credible Stance. A substitute must be able to command the class’s attention and maintain control. The teacher should stand with weight evenly placed over both feet, toes pointed forward, and head straight. Avoid wandering around- stay planted at the front of the room when calling for attention or giving directions.

Credible Voice Pattern. In addition, the substitute teacher must curl the voice down at the ends of statements. Curling the voice up is standard in many classrooms today, but it sounds as though what the teacher is saying is up for debate rather than non-negotiable. To practice credible voice pattern, tip the chin down and mimic James Bond. “BOND, James BOND.”

Go Visual. Teachers must go visual, particularly with directions for group or seat work. Not only does this assist students in becoming more independent (they can find the information without bothering the teacher) it serves as a management device. If a student is “off task” the teacher can look and point to the visual instructions, which avoids the inevitable power struggle. It’s very difficult to argue with written instructions.

Breathe. Any time we are in a stressful situation we tend to hold our breath. This will make the credible voice pattern sound angry rather than definitive. In addition, students take their breathing cues from the teacher. If the teacher is breathing low, the class will also breathe well. Breathing well assists the teacher in appearing confident and self-assured. It also allows the teacher to remain unattached and manage from position rather than from person. Management doesn’t become personal for the teacher -or- the student.

Because a substitute teacher doesn’t have the luxury of time to create relationships with students, he or she has a harder time managing. It is imperative all substitute teachers exhibit excellent nonverbal communication the minute they step in the door. They must communicate expertise and control immediately- so learning can occur.

Thinking it will is the biggest communication mistake you can make.

What do I mean by communication style?  It depends on who you’re listening to these days. One school of thought says you can be an expresser, driver, relater or analytical. Another divides it into colors. Yet another says people can be categorized as doers, thinkers, creators and listeners. Even one of our programs uses the analogy of household pets to understand the different ways people communicate.

There’s nothing wrong with learning about ourselves- it can be fun to label and compare. But fun isn’t the same as effective. All effective communicators have more than one way of communicating. They understand that not only do they need to be aware of their own preferences and biases, they need to be aware of other people’s preferences and biases. Good communication only happens when people are in sync. Knowing how you communicate is only half of the equation. Learning how to adapt to the person you’re communicating with is where the magic happens.

Very.

My husband’s high school experience is a great example. He wasn’t too interested in school, so his grades weren’t anything to brag about. Except in one class. He received an A. “Why did you work hard in that one class?” I asked once. “Because I felt the teacher liked me,” he said. It was that simple.

Yet creating relationships with students is anything but simple.

I’ve observed in hundreds of classrooms, worked with hundreds of teachers, and I can speak from personal experience when I say that knowing a student doesn’t like you is incredibly painful and confusing for most teachers.

Add to that the expectation from administrators that teachers should be striving for high-quality student relationships, and most teachers are ready to pull their hair out.

It’s not that teachers are unwilling or unable to do this. There are so many issues out of their control- absentee parents, media influences, video games- that the pressure to be liked can often feel like a millstone around the neck.

Like the teacher I coached recently. He expressed that the office didn’t like it when he sent students out of the classroom, preferring that he take care of the discipline himself. So he did. And then they said he was too “authoritative.” So he tried joking around more. Until one student complained to his parents about a joke, and the parents called the school. He couldn’t win, he said.

Students learn best when the learning environment is safe and respectful. There are times teachers need to be authoritative and come from their position, but there are other times they need to be friendly and come from their person. Oftentimes a teacher only operates from one or the other. If position, they are seen as too authoritative. If person, they are seen as too accommodating. Nonverbal intelligence is knowing when each is appropriate and having the ability to do both.

Nonverbal classroom management assists teachers by allowing them to separate the student from the behavior when coming from their position. In other words, it allows the teacher to manage without making it personal. Through appropriate use of eye contact, visuals and nonverbal cues, teachers can foster trust and safety in the classroom without fearing they are being too strict or too lenient.

Effective use of nonverbal communication leads to clearer classroom messages, which means less misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Teachers feel in control and students feel respected. This is how I define high quality student-teacher relationships. Being liked is secondary.

So my advice to teachers is this: don’t try to be something you’re not in an effort to get students to like you. Be systematic in your use of nonverbal communication, but more importantly, be authentic. People, particularly students, respond to authenticity. The rest is just details.